Goodbye 2015 I Have Deep Gratitude

Well it’s the 1st of January 2016 and I have spent the last few weeks reflecting on what was 2015. My lesson in 2015 was the art of Gratitude of which I am bringing into 2016. 2015 saw some extreme highs and lows. Excitement and deep sadness, grief and loss.

I began 2015 with a strong sense of Grief and Loss- my life had been turned upside down and I found myself in a world that had changed overnight. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful that the change had occurred as I had been asking the universe for answers to the blocks in my path. I’d just come to a point of surrender and complete trust that if I was meant to continue my psychology degree it would happen, that I would heal from chapters closing and new doors opening. The pinnacle moment was sitting in the full moon completely surrendering and sobbing my heart out, allowing myself to acknowledge I no longer had a home and I missed every part of what I had built.

January had certainly been full of change! My family also started the GAPS program to support our health and wellbeing, and we enjoyed the change and ability to get creative with food, experimenting with cooking! The success I found with this led me to become a certified GAPS Practitioner in November. Since then I have begun facilitating regular Community Health Meetings!

As the year progressed, I sold my home, car and belongings and entered into a year of education and adventure! I began my Psychology Honours at Sunshine Coast University; I was in heaven. The door had been opened to the next stage in my studies and I was ecstatic (mmmm perhaps if you had asked me if I was enjoying myself after my first Stats exam I probably would have said something a lot different).

In addition, I also received a beautiful phone call from one of my mentors, Kim Morrison. She invited me to study in her Health Lifestyle Education course. I could not decline and so I added this venture to my to do list. Just to add some more delight I also studied Cyndi O'Meara’s, Changing Habits Nutrition Course. And the cherry on top was partaking in Dymphna Boholt's Ultimate Real Estate course.

Ok, I know I am mad, but it didn’t stop there. We bought a house in Tewantin- a hoarder’s love affair no less!- which cost approx $10 000 just in skip and dumping fees. We renovated that beautiful home which is now on the market. That house taught me how to persevere, how to get angry and move mountains, to love and be passionate, and was great practice in the real estate game!

Another highlight of the year was Kokoda Gold Coast 96klm challenge, our team was the Super Troopers Version 2 and I was honoured to be on this journey with my partner, children and close friend. We may not have finished however the journey was something I cannot describe. After 24 hours my partner and I had walked 76klm without stopping and no sleep. I think that was an awesome achievement!

The happiest moments of 2015 was my engagement to the love of my life, David Cooper. Seriously it took me many false starts and kissing the wrong toads before I found my prince. However, I kept asking the universe to answer my prayers and gee it happened!

I also hit the magical age of 30, and I seriously thought overnight I would become a woman, fully aware and mature... I belly laugh from the inside out at thinking how naive I was... Seriously when does the growing up begin? I was spoilt by my best friends with a party, gorgeous cake and music. I am so grateful to have my besties even if we don’t see each other every week or month they are always there supporting and loving me relentlessly. I am so grateful for their love.

We jetted off to Melbourne and watched The Lion King on broadway. Again, this was spine tingling and goosebump material. It was a moment that I will cherish- to share that with my children and see their faces completely lit up and full of authentic happiness brought so much joy to my heart. I had seen The Lion King twice before however circumstances did not allow them to be there and I had promised myself that I would give them the gift one day to experience such a moving performance.

Another jet flight took us to Vietnam and Cambodia. I can still close my eyes and see Charlotte, Felix and David riding along on push bikes among the rice paddies, with the warmth of the sun engulfing our bodies. The laughter, smiles, and experience was another dream ticked off the list and I pray that I will get to see my children experience so much more of this world. I wish to see them wonderstruck and delighted by new experiences and all that the world has to offer.

Unfortunately, we lost some loved ones this year, both too young to leave us. One to the darkness of suicide and the other under tragic circumstances. It is in these moments watching my children grieve at the ages of 9 and 11 and navigate guilt, anger, confusion, worry, grief, loss, reconnecting, dealing with painful memories and attempts at finding answers, that I feel completely lost as a mother, unable to take away their pain, keep them safe and nurture them. I realise in this life I am here to support, love and nurture them but I cannot remove what is deemed a negative experience. If I really think about it these experiences shape who we are and aid us in becoming resilient and strong when others are down. It is a challenge, and one that we are still wading through. Wherever that journey is taking us, I am trusting the path and celebrating the positives that have come of it.

2015 you were amazing and one of the biggest years of my life, you gave me the gift of Gratitude. Thankyou.

I welcome 2016 with a open mind, open arms and a sense of adventure.

Peace x